Our Camper Has Been Chosen!

Take a moment to feast your eyes on our new home for the next 2-4 years! This is what our model looks like, but we did not purchase it at this location. We got a great deal, praise God and we are stoked!  Papers are signed and this baby is soon to be on its way!

http://www.mcgaughrv.com/inventory/62/cyclone-4100-king.php

I can’t wait until it gets here. This one is great! It’s slightly different than the one we originally planned. We decided to downsize on the laundry area(thank you Alice for your advice!), and we kept the extra half bathroom. The reduction in cost is going to make our monthly payments even better, and fits in with our theme of living a bit more simply.

You know, it’s funny really. Much of the decor of this camper is what I would have chosen for a home. I was telling the Lord I am getting new furniture and a new look in our living space, just on a much smaller scale. To understand why this is so special to me, allow me to tell you about our home here in AK.

We live in Juneau, AK in a beautful Lindor Cedar home. It has a rustic charm that makes it feel quite homey. It definitely looks as if it fits right in with our surroundings of 50ft evergreens heavily laden with snow, little porcupines ambling about. Its a fairly large home, largest one we have ever lived in really. At just over 2000 squared feet, it’s also a feat to clean! And with a total of 6 oxen living in the barn, it’s a wonder it EVER is clean.

Our children are on a system to help with chores and behavior called Accountable Kids which keeps them on a daily routine involving contributions to the household in the form of chores, their schooling and meal times. It’s been a godsend truly. But, I wonder if it will even be necessary in such a small home as we will have(don’t worry I am only half kidding, OF COURSE WE WILL NEED OUR CHORE SYSTEM!) The chores are bound to drop drastically. I’d be a liar if I said I don’t daydream on a daily basis about what it would be like to not have to say fifty times,”Are your chores finished yet?” I am certain that the children will still be resistant to helping out, but it just doesn’t take as long to tidy up 500 square feet, as it does with over 2000 square feet! Can we all just take a moment and just be in that zen place please, where all mothers sip on mint juleps and have half naked men fanning up with palm leaves? I’ll settle for a buddha dog.

Now that that foolishness is over, talk to me about your thoughts. If you were to downsize, what’s the one thing you could let go of easiest? Would it be a bedroom, bathroom, living space? Think outside of the box. Would it be a car? Cable, phones, internet? Pick your poison, and tell me why you chose it!

We Got Orders!!

This is an exceptionally exciting, and equally depressing time of year for the families in the Coast Guard.  Finding out your next duty station allows you to prepare, pray, cry, accept, plan and generally embrace your new home to be.

I know you all have been very excited to hear where we will be going, and I plan on telling you.  First, how about an update on our camper?

So, for those who missed the post about us and our life change coming up, start here to get the story straight.  Moving on in Sarah fashion, Chris and I are throwing around the idea of downsizing our original plan for a camper.  A misunderstanding with the bank led us to believe we would not get the loan amount we thought we would, so my husband got to thinking,”Why not have a little less?  Thats what our aim is here anyway?”

He asked me what I was willing to give up: the extra half bathroom or the stackable washer and dryer.  As most mothers know, and probably would have said as well, it was a resounding, “Get rid of the bathroom! Not the washer!”

 I really have no desire to tote my things to the laundromat each week.  That would honestly send me over the edge.  Talk me down peeps, talk me down.

But, surprisingly, the idea of downsizing further doesn’t really phase me.  We are already going to be living in a camper, why not reduce a bit more?  As it turns out, the misunderstand with our bank was noodled out, and we discovered that we could indeed get the money we were hoping for, for this venture.  But, do we use all of what we can?  Or think smaller?  If I know my husband like I think I do, I would bet he is leaning towards smaller!

Would you consider living in a camper?  If so, do you have a dream camper you would like?

Oh and because I am a dreadful tease and have made you wait long enough, we are headed to New Orleans!!  Family here we come!

A Difference in Perspective: Looking ‘From’ the Cross

In case anyone doesn’t already know, I am fairly certain I have the world’s most amazing father.  I’ll have to detail more about that in another post, but it will be a good read.  God has brought us through so much.  I am so thankful he chose to listen to the Holy Spirit, and my incredible stepmother, and bridge the gap that divorce and poor choices had caused.  He ‘came after me’ with all of his heart, and our relationship is a beautiful thing to behold now.  

I happened to read his facebook status today and it was one that echoed a previous conversation we had earlier in the week:

“The Lord has been dealing with me greatly to change my perspective. As a christian we are told to look to the cross but the Lord wants our perspective to be from the cross. Jesus said pick up your cross and follow me. It was not just to carry but to truly eat His flesh and drink His blood. We are to be one with Him in death and life. His cry from the cross says “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”  He calls for us to cry out in symphony with Him. In this our Father is glorified.”

Today, as I am rounding out day two of heavy narcotics, ibuprofen, zofran and flomax, to help my body rid itself of these dastardly kidney stones, I have been asking myself that age old question,”What is the purpose of all this suffering?” To be honest, I am quite certain it sounded more like,”Why in the hell am I in so much damn pain???!!!” Fill in the blanks with bawling, tears, the occasional vomiting session and a wail or two.  And I read his status, reminding me to think deeper.  

Have I been looking at life ‘to’ the cross, or ‘from’ it?

For me, I have to be honest and say that I think I have spent almost all of my painful circumstances looking ‘to’ the cross, for salvation from my suffering, a word from the Lord to sustain me, or healing from an illness.  I do not think this is a bad thing, it has grown me in my walk with God to trust and believe Him for these things.  But, I feel like God wants to take me deeper.  I believe God wants to refine us, making us more like Him each day.  And He instructs us, just as my dad mentions here to “take up His cross.”  The truth is, there is no way to take up His cross without suffering; plain and simple.  

Jesus suffered friends.  He suffered for us.  He suffers with us.  He suffers still for us.  When we hurt, He hurts.  When we cry, He cries.  I believe that Jesus means it when He says He will be with us in those valleys.  And its impossible to not feel pain when you walk beside someone struggling in life.  Of course He knows the big picture, of course He understands the greater purpose for us, but it doesn’t hurt Him any less to see us struggle.  

This leads me to the next big question: How do I move from looking ‘to’ the cross to looking ‘from’ the cross?  

I think it begins by having a renewing of my mind.  I need the Lord to change my thought processes.  I need new perspective.  Standing at my fireplace during a particularly painful kidney episode today, I was seeing a little bit of that perspective.  I kept thinking of all the people in the world who suffer from this, with nothing to help them manage the pain.  My heart cried out to them, in their homes, great and small, in their desperate places,”God heal them, help them, let them know You are there.” You see, having a change of perspective is moving your eyes from your own suffering and seeing the suffering and pain of others, and how you can bless them, walk with them in it, be Jesus with skin for them.  

I’m getting there, slowly.  Its just human nature to care about ourselves, our families and our lives more than the lives of others.  And, of course that attitude has its place.  but, God is asking us for more.  He wants us to be willing to open up, see the world through His eyes and love our fellow man, in deeds and not just our words.

I pray the Lord helps you to do this, as I pray He helps me too.

 

When The Reality That You’ve Piled Too Much On, Yet Again, Hits You

Have you ever been trucking along in life when it smacks you in the forehead?  

This was me today.

It’s so hard to say no to doing things you love; things you are passionate about, that make you feel like you have something more to offer the world than the ability to deftly change a diaper in a single swipe of your calloused dishwater hands.  Why is it such a challenge for me to say no?  Am I afraid I won’t please others?  Am I trying to prove I am capable of scaling any mountain placed before me?  Am I taking on too much because I believe its what my kids or I actually need?

I do not think it is really any of those.  Although if I had to choose just one, I’d say it was pride.  Wow.  I hate to even admit that.  I was prideful and excited and feeling good mentally and emotionally about all the wonderful things we have been accomplishing through Christ as a family.  I felt I could take on the world!

In the summer, our family had major growth spiritually and emotionally and it has been such an awesome thing to see how everyone is getting along better(including the Big Hairy Boss and I).  We have had a shift in household chores delegation which has truly saved my life!  With family in town visiting all summer, and pouring into our life, it honestly made such a beautiful impact.  We were floating.  I was floating.

And the ideas for helping out others began to trickle in.  I decided to take on a couple big projects, on top of things that were already time consuming, including running two businesses, homeschooling 4 children, moderating a breastfeeding website, writing articles for one, and preparing a chapter for a book for another, teaching voice lessons, helping in multiple church activities, and so on.  With a schedule so packed that even every hour was scheduled of each day except for one day a week.

Today as I was rushing through school to be out of the door by 10:30am to get to bible study, I was hurrying the children along so we could load up the suburban with everything else I needed for preparation for the women’s conference at our church too.  I barely make it on time to my bible study, all the while patting myself on the back for a job well done.  I instruct all of my children to help me unload and bring things inside.

After settling down in the bible study and getting class started, we enjoyed a nice prayer and charged right on in to our study.  Thought provoking questions, great insight to be had by all.  And its about this moment, at exactly 11:26am, exactly 35 minutes after I had arrived, that my son enters the room.

I look up in horror as he says these words,”Well, look who we left in the car.”  

Looking at my two year old, who had dried tears on her face, I immediately scooped her up as the reality of what I had done in my haste came crashing down on me.  All the stupid iphone reminders in the world could not help me in that moment.  It didn’t matter that I was able to get everyone there on time, that I had arranged everything just right in order to accomplish all of my goals.

You see, the night before I was praying during my evening quiet time.  I genuinely asked the Lord  to help me decide what, if anything, I should remove from my life.  I asked the Holy Spirit to help me discern what He believed to be a good use of my time and I needed God to be very clear in His advice.  I didn’t want to spend days wondering about what I should do.  I know, I should have prayed for patience!  Me telling God how He should talk to me is a bit absurd.  But, praise God, He loves me and does not tire of me!

In that moment, I knew that God had given me my answer.  I felt His Spirit whisper to my heart,”Let these things go.  You have taken on too much.”

You see, I never consulted the Lord about what to take on, I just plowed straight ahead with what I wanted.  I jumped in feet first and didn’t do what I should have done.  In the process, God lovingly showed me that it didn’t matter if I could remember every date, every outside responsibility, every chore, every meal, every fill in the blank, if it meant I forgot the things most important in my life.

My children.  They are my mission, my ministry.  Raising children who love God fiercely, who chase after Him with all of their beings, who love others sacrificially, and look for ways to bless those around them; this is my life.  This is my joy.  This is my ultimate responsibility.  Nothing else.  Anything else is just lagniappe.

Now, I am prayerfully considering what to drop to the wayside, and it is a tough decision, but one my husband has lovingly helped me make.

How have you managed stressors?  Did you need to take things out of your life?  If not, what did you decide to do instead?

A New Change: Living With Less

So, I thought it would be a neat blog post to talk about what our family will be embarking upon starting next June, give or take a week or two, when we transfer from Juneau AK to “have no clue quite yet”. 

About a year ago, my husband came to me with a proposition.  He had this grand idea.  Stop for a moment.  

When my husband comes to me with a grand scheme, it is almost always something incredibly bizarre and seemingly out of reach.  This is one of the reasons I married him.  He has this incredible capacity to dream absurdly large dreams.  Its a sexy quality, and it is a spiritual quality. But, along with this phenomenal attribute, comes a sickening in the pit of my stomach.  I am not a dreamer.  I am a “feet firmly planted on the ground, don’t like roller coasters, please no jumping out of airplanes” type of woman.  Give me a good book, a sewing machine, a vacation to the Bahamas(just throwing that one out there if there are any takers), or even a ride on a lovely horse, and I am there.  

“Let’s live simply.” He says.

“Let’s reduce our debt.” He says.

“Let’s buy a fifth wheel camper and live in it with our four children for about 2 years.” He says.

This is where I try very hard to be a nice wife and not go postal.  I immediately was thinking of all the reasons this idea was absolutely not going to work for our family.

We were not in one accord on discipline.
Our marriage needed time and attention.
Did I mention we hadn’t had a date in about, oh ten years?
We have four children, who are very strong willed and fiery.
Sometimes I wanted to remove his eyeballs and beat him with them.(Don’t overlook this concern, his eyeballs will thank you.)

All joking aside, I know his heart is beautiful.  I know his heart is true.  He wants what is best for our family.  

Its been a long road getting to where our hearts are intertwined on this idea, but a year later, here we are.  I would like to share one of the campers we have been researching that we think will fit our family great!  It’s a Voltage 3895.  I’m not sure of the year that we would be purchasing potentially.  And its in the running with another model/make.  But, this certainly looks promising!

 

 

I think it is quite beautiful.  Even though its hard to imagine living in one of these for at least 2 years, I feel much better about starting this adventure than I did a year ago.  

As I have more details I will fill in everyone.  Its bound to be a crazy process, but even though I almost hate to admit it, I am a bit excited about jumping out of this airplane.

Patience: A Love/Hate Relationship

 

Isn’t that the truth?  Who really wants to be patient? I will be brutally honest that being patient through trials was the last thing on my mind in this photo. It was cold, I was hovering over an iceberg, and while my tongue wasn’t actually glued to this chunk of ice, my husband needed this ridiculous photo.  So, because I am the awesome wife that I am(and modest too of course), I suffered through this ridiculousness in order to appease his handsome face.  Don’t say you wouldn’t do it, you haven’t seen how his cute face!

But, this brings to mind something more serious.  How many of us truly want to be patient?  The Lord says to “ask and we shall receive”.  But, many of us do not want the package in which patience often comes wrapped up.  

Romans 5:3-5 says:

“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

It seems to me that developing “endurance” is the gateway to developing other godly attributes.  

But, when I look at this verse it challenges me, because I certainly do not want any more tribulation than the next person.  Am I saying that God would give us trials on purpose?  No, I do not imply that.  But, what I do believe is that if we are asking God to help build our patience, there isn’t much else to do but allow us to go through things for our own good.  What Satan would intend for evil, God intends for good.  Is knowing this enough for us to trust God, and ask Him to make us more like Him?  Can we take a leap of faith, and say, “Whatever you think is best God”? 

I think I am ready.  God has shown me so many times, in His Word, in the lives of my friends, and most certainly in my own life, that He is the great “I Am”.  He is so powerful, profound, and able to do more than we could ever imagine.  If the God of the universe says,”I want to give you patience”, far be it from me to try and tell Him how He should choose to develop it within me.

So, go ahead, get your tongue stuck in the ice, and patiently wait for God to take you through! You might just find that God doesn’t actually want you to be frozen, He might just want to see if you willing to get cold.  And, the next time you go through something that chills you to the bone, you’ll have what it takes inside to manage it, with Jesus walking you through it all.

When Anger Meets Forgiveness

“Get off of me!”

“You are such a big dummy!”

“I hate you, and wish you weren’t my brother!”

“I think you’re stupid, and I don’t care what you say!”

Sound familiar?  Anyone with older children has heard them lose their tempers this way I would imagine.  When I was younger I swore I would never have children who spoke like that to each other.Come on! I am a Christian, people! Christians wouldn’t let their children behave that way.  Here I am, so many years later chuckling  to myself.  You may all laugh at my naivete.

I called my children into the room with me where I lay half asleep in my sickly, groggy state. I asked my oldest what had happened.  Their stories did not match up, as I figured they wouldn’t.  And I found myself feeling tired.  Not the obvious tired one feels when ill, but deeply tired in my soul.  

Does God ever feel this way about us?

I sighed, and admittedly, just said to please go work it out.  I just didn’t have it in me to try and teach, train or mold my darling children in that moment.  And I am so completely grateful to God for being gracious and full of mercy in those times knowing when I am unable to do what is expected of me.  

A few minutes later, my son reentered the room.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I need to be honest about something.  I started everything by teasing her.  She got mad and hit me and I kicked her back.  Everything was actually my fault.”

“I see.  Did you talk to her about this?”

“Yes I did.  I apologized for causing the fight.”

“I am so proud of you buddy.  It takes a lot of humility to admit when you have done wrong.  Great job. But because you broke a family rule about hitting and fighting, I am going to need you to hang up a ticket.  Do you understand?”

“Yes mam.”

“Call your sister in too so I can address her behavior as well.”

The rest of the experience was uneventful.  But his honesty and willingness to make restitution gave me hope, and stayed on my heart much longer than I imagine it took his sister’s heart to soften towards her big brother.  

I think I know that God does not, in fact, feel weary dealing with our trials and constant issues.  I often wonder what it would be like if we were so quick to ask forgiveness; if we set our hearts towards making things right, and ‘living peaceably with all men in as much as we are able”.  

So, I pray today that God would create in me a heart like my son’s; like His Son’s.  A heart that is bent towards loving, and less towards bitterness, and desires to honor God with all that it is, instead of offering the last of myself at the end of a day filled with me bent on my will, my ways and my agenda.  I pray you have this heart too.  

 

Learning to Love Living in the Moment

As I sit here watching my youngest, almost 2, slowly unlatch her diaper, peeking at me, with those toddler hooded eyes, wondering if I see her doodling around instead of going to sleep, I think to myself, “Does life get better than this?”

I remember a time not too long ago, when the first of our four children, attempted such cuteness.  I was not amused, nor did I think it was adorable.  I felt annoyed, tired and desperate.  Desperate.  I felt pressured by everyone around me to get this child “in line”.  I had no idea how to do this.  So, I cracked.  I lost my temper, I yelled, I punished.  But, the funny thing about two year olds?  Well, at least my strong willed one, is that they do not budge unless its their will to do so.

What is a mother to do?

I wish I could go back, and tell that weary momma with a fussy 2 year old little boy, and a 6 month old baby girl that she was not a failure.  That God had hand picked her for her children, to mother them in love and shepherd them in grace.  That training is a process that is not linear, but more like a circle where we continue to revisit the same issues over and over, refining their little hearts, and molding them in the shape the Lord desires.  I wish I could tell her to drink in the presence of the Lord every spare moment she can get.  And to understand that getting those adrenaline shots of Jesus will be enough to help her make it to the next day.  And that, just when she thinks she is done, that is where Jesus begins.

We all have been there, feeling like we simply cannot do this job called motherhood.  It doesn’t matter if we have the opportunity to stay home full time, to work part time outside of the home, or even full time.  No matter if you are married or single, being a mother is bone wearying.  

But, God is faithful, perfectly trustworthy, to hold us up in the dark times of our lives. Psalm 55:22 says “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”  If you look at each of these words defined form its original Hebrew text, its so much more beautiful: 

“Throw away [your] burden upon the existing One and He will support and nourish you; he will never[emphasis mine] give permission for those in right standing with Him to totter, shake or slip.”

It brings to mind how often I feasted upon the lies that my burdens spoke to me, digesting my beliefs that I was no good, my children would suffer under my care, and that I would never be able to “get it right”.  What if we feasted on something different?  On the truth?  What if we threw out that rotten junk food type of thinking, and asked God to nourish us with His Word, what He says about us?  Imagine the freedom we might walk in then.

Its time.  Here is your exhortation. Let go of what you have said about yourself, what you have believed about yourself, and take hold of the promises of God.  You are valuable.  You matter.  You are beautiful because Jesus is beautiful.  And nothing He is in could be any less than that.  You are the mother God chose, and He never makes mistakes.  Now embrace it.  And choose to see your frustrating times as an opportunity to bring your children closer to Jesus.  This is exciting, and this is a great step in learning to love living in the moment.

It’s me. Sweet and simple.

I’m Sarah, wife to the hottest Coastie, mother to the fabulous four, and daughter of the Most High King.